The “favorite parent” phase is common among children around the age of two. Phrases like “I don’t want mommy/daddy” or “I want daddy/mommy” can feel discouraging for the parent who is being “rejected”, while, on the other hand, it may bring great joy to the one who is currently the “favorite”.
In the early months of life, the mother is usually the most important person to the baby. Mothers are the ones who nurse, bathe, change, and comfort the baby, and the sound of a mother’s heartbeat often reminds the baby of their time in the womb, creating a deep sense of security and comfort. Because of this, infants are most attached to their mothers.
However, as the child grows emotionally and begins to explore and connect with others, they step out of their comfort zone, and this is when the “favorite parent” phase can begin.
The parent who feels “rejected” should not take this phase personally. Children have no intention of hurting or insulting a parent.
What matters most is staying calm and composed during this phase, and remembering that children love both parents deeply—there’s no doubt about that. When a child insists on being with the other parent, it is a temporary preference based on the moment. Young children do not plan ahead—they live completely in the present.
If your child prefers the other parent at a given time, that often means they feel secure in your love and know you’re a safe emotional base. In this case, being “rejected” can actually be seen as a compliment, showing the depth of trust in your bond. Respond with emotional maturity—and sometimes even a sense of humor. Children will learn that their parents stay calm and steady no matter how they act. They’ll also learn that it’s okay to express frustration or anger.
If your child becomes upset because their wish to be with the other parent cannot be fulfilled immediately, respond calmly. Let them know it’s okay to want to spend time with the other parent, and explain that this will happen as soon as possible.
When children begin to speak, people often ask them: “Who do you love more—mommy or daddy?” The preferred answer is, of course, “both equally.”
So if you’re not your child’s favorite at the moment, and they prefer to do certain things with the other parent, don’t take it personally. Accept it with love and understanding.
Don’t try to force their attention or affection.
Instead, make sure both parents are included in daily routines and quality time. Very often, children favor the parent who is less present, typically due to work obligations. In many families, this turns out to be the father, while mothers often spend more time caring for the child.
It’s important to note that parent favoritism may also appear during adolescence.