Parenting is not an easy job at all; it requires sacrifice, effort, energy, and constant search for new and effective methods of upbringing, i.e., continuous education.
Modern educational theories have significantly contributed to the crisis of parental authority. By “mixing the pots,” the vertical relationship of parents to children as someone superior has changed into a horizontal relationship, where children issue orders and their will is respected out of fear that the child will not love the parents if their demands are not met. Modern theories have created a bad reputation for the vertical relationship between parents and children, even though that relationship implied that the parent should be an authority, i.e., superior, and advocate for an equal relationship where parents are positioned as the child’s best friend. Can this actually work?
First, parents must understand that just because they have become parents, it does not mean they automatically have authority; it is not self-evident but must be built and earned. Respect born out of fear is not authority but a well-used emotional manipulation of children. Such a relationship manipulates the child’s fear, resulting in unconditional obedience. This type of relationship leads to a cold emotional bond.
Authority, in one word, means trust; the child believes that everything the parents do is for their good and is ready to listen. Authority is established from the first day of birth. It must exist, meaning there must be boundaries, and the child must know that you can control the situation.
There are several types of authority in parenting:
- Authoritative parents are too strict, expect too much from the child, want children to be obedient without question, and tend to punish.
- Indifferent parents are the opposite of the first type, i.e., authoritative; they are uninterested, have minimal demands on the child, and the children are left to themselves because the parents are occupied with their own personal needs.
- Overly permissive parents are caring, full of attention and understanding toward their children but inconsistent in setting clear boundaries. Their children tend to manipulate due to the overly permissive attitude where children are always given a choice.
- Democratic parents have the right balance of authority in upbringing. They are caring and attentive, always there to listen to the child and their needs, and together with the child, find solutions. They have clearly set boundaries that are respected. Children of such parents have complete trust in the correctness of their parents’ positions because their decisions are explained.